not been here for a while..

February comes to a close in less than two weeks and I have not had the chance to drain my mind. Well, actually I have been coming here, staring at my edit posts list (I had started a few quite enthusiastically but lost steam soon after, so I put them of hold till my next brain wave. Which never came and I lost the line of thought.) So while deleting a couple of them today, I was swept in a wave of guilt, and annoyed with my incapacity at pinning down *all* my mind wanderings with words.

I am writing without a specific agenda . Its strange because usually I nudge myself in the direction that is attracting my thought molecules. Since I can be quite a scatterbrain, I find it impossible to go back to revise a post, or save it for later.

I have spent most of my childhood and adolescence being completely opaque to the idea of fitness and well being, mostly working on the assumption that my metabolism will take care (after all, that is what it is for, right?). And Yoga (the yoga bit still holds very true). I was never introduced to the idea of playing a sport for the sheer joy of it. I have dabbled with basketball and badminton, but have never known the rush of playing. ( I dislike myself for it.) Things only got worse after graduation and when I got into my job. Work was all I did and work life was the only life I had. For three years. I probably aged by a decade in that time span.

One day, for no apparent reason, I went for a jog. It was my first time, and it took me a while to teach myself how to run without ruining my knees or ankles. I have been more or less regular about it since. Running makes me happy and my sense of self worth takes quite a leap. =)

Sensitivity to my health and psyche has seen a considerable improvement over time, it started with acknowledging the idea that as you get older, the body has to work more at keeping fit. I decided to help myself, did some reading on Ayurved, fitness and food (still do it with reasonable regularity) Indian cooking is so versatile and healthy that an average person like me needn't necessarily put a lot of thought to whether the body is getting the nutrients it needs. But I am working on slight improvisations for more benefits, adding more raw foods to my diet, specifically fruits. I am more aware of what I eat and find myself calculating the amount of work I should do to burn my food intake.

I want to keep a written record of what I eat, but have still not got down to doing it. Perhaps that will prove my paranoia on the subject. Yesterday, in a phone conversation with my dad, I mentioned to him that I have resolved to eat one fruit in every meal. (This was one of my several 100-watt light bulbs for my health.) I have quite a list, (like) consume two liters of water per day, eat a very light dinner at around seven in the evening. I haven't yet been able to achieve these targets completely, but I try.

The silence on the other end of the phone told me that my father had reconciled to the fact that his twenty eight year old (still unmarried) daughter has finally lost her marbles. Not that she had many to begin with, but she should have dearly held onto the ones she had.