a brand new year

Another year.

When I was a very little girl and still in the process of grasping the concept of time (I just knew my numbers till ten and I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that sixty seconds make a minute and sixty minutes make an hour. Therefore, when my mother would tell me to wait for a minute before she could attend to my tantrum and I was to wait for counts to ten done six times before I could call for her again) ( I still didn't get it then, but at least I was distracted enough by all the math my brain was required to do without a pencil)

I lost the original intention of writing this. (Funny how consistently I am prone to distraction, and have been so for as long as I can remember, maybe I should put it in my list of new year resolutions to get some improvement done in this aspect of my being)

Continuing the little girl story, when I was a little girl, years seemed so far apart, there was a WHOLE year of school to go to, two term exams, one final exam, one summer break, one pooja break, one winter break and several weekends. Time was a mammoth, a giant that was so proportioned that it could only move slowly, very slowly, from one day to the next, till three hundred and sixty five significant days had been counted before the next one arrived.

In a conversation on this topic, a wise man told me that humans comprehend things in relative terms. A six hour journey will seem terribly agonizing to a four year old, while people my age will see it as a relatively short drive. To be more lucid ( at least attempt it), a period of six hours is a bigger fraction of a four year old's age and will seem like a longer time to him than to a grown up. (The math would be thus : 6/[{(4X365)+1}x24] , the same thing , in case of a 28 year old like me would be 6/[{(365*28)+ 7}x24], the results are roughly, 0.00017 and 0.000024) I am not sure if I have been able to exactly explain what I wanted to, but the whole idea is that since it is all relative is appears different. (!)

Gosh! I wish I could put it better!

In a previous mulling on similar lines I imagined life to be a pinwheel, and focus on its rotation speed. From a third person perspective, I pictured it as starting slowly but surely and gaining acceleration with every spin till the life reaches its end. Strangely, I never did give much thought to the pivot in the pinwheel, and now when I am thinking about it as I write this post, I would like to call it, stereotypically, things that bind you to things around you. And having written that, it seems pretty inconsequential in the current argument.

I am not sure what was the original intention of this post. perhaps I wanted to tell myself that time is on the run, it always has been, and I have lived long enough in total apathy to the fact that moments are evanescent. That I should spend more time doing things I love and counting my blessings than I do kicking myself for not being as perfect as I would like to be. I am not talking about acceptance and a consequent complacence, I am talking about acceptance and taking charge and making change. The desire to be a better version of me.

Here's hoping!